Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

Although my blogging gets more sporadic, I have to do my end-of-the-year recap. I don't know if many people even follow this anymore (especially since my running days are long gone and my running entries were the exciting ones), but I feel good writing. I've always enjoyed journaling, and have a closet desire to be a writer, so whatever. :-)

All in all, 2011 was a darn good year. In fact, it was probably one of the best ones I've had in a long time. Although I did have the traumatic miscarriage (complete with emotions that I'm still working through... I don't handle death well), the rest of the year was filled with such fantastic-ness that I can't end my year unhappy or displeased.

So what made this year so great?

1) International travel. Finally, after 15 years, I made it back to London. In fact, not only did I go back to London, I went to Paris TWICE (got to witness the cold Paris and later the rainy Paris) and Rome. My passport has plenty of stamps on it, and I'm happy because it's retiring/expiring soon and I would be sad if passport #2 had no stamps on it. My trip to London wasn't as great as I expected (due to lack of time), but I went back to Westminster Abbey and St. Paul's. Paris, on the other hand, was fantastic - both times. I can see myself living in Paris, drinking coffee at a sidewalk cafe, buying fresh bread and nibbling on it while walking through a market, eating crepes in Monmarte. Rome was also beautiful - sunny with the bluest skies I've ever seen, charming cobbled streets and busy alleyways, enough old Catholic churches to fill my eyes with wonderment, and ancient architecture that filled my historian's mind with visions of old Rome. I became quite good at taking photographs in Europe, and hope to expand my photograph-taking abilities for my next European trip.

2) Grad school. I finished all my classes and will be graduating with a 4.0. The only thing stopping me is my thesis. Although I'm not quite where I want to be, I'm completely ok with taking another semester to finish it and will still graduate in 2012.

3) Work. I love my job. I love my school, like the people I work with.

4) Family. I'm a proud aunt to the cutest little boy in the world. I love my nephew to death and spending time with him lights up my day.

5) Theatre. I directed my most challenging play yet - "Macbeth." It was fantastic - professionally choreographed sword fighting (with metal swords), wonderful special effects, a very talented cast. I ended my three year directing history with a bang - now I get to take a break. Plus, I'm currently in my first musical in three years - "Avenue Q" - and am having a blast. This is my first time working with puppets, and it's been a very interesting experience.

6) Last, and certainly not least - Love. I'm in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man. We started as friends and then gradually became more. We're living together in a cute townhome and have an exciting future ahead of us. The last time I lived with a boyfriend was 8 years ago - and only 5 months passed before I wanted to end it. This time, Billy and I have been living together for 5 months so far and every day it gets better. He is a good man, kind, funny, trusting, smart, creative, and loves me for who I am. I have no worries, no fear, no anxiety, total trust, and I laugh so much. Our theatre backgrounds work well with each other, especially when it comes to Shakespeare (because who doesn't love exchanging Shakespearean insult text messages for hours on end), and we just simply share our lives with one another.

So, with this great year ending, what will happen this upcoming year?

1) International travel. It's on! I'm going to start planning my next big teacher-student trip for 2013 (so everyone can start saving money) - a tour of Greece, complete with a cruise to the Grecian Islands. But for 2012, I'm off to Canada this summer for vacation. I've never been to Canada, and I'm very much looking forward to it.

2) Grad school. I will finish my thesis and graduate by this time next year. With highest honors and a kick-ass thesis.

3) Work. Still will be teaching. :-)

4) Family. Who knows, but let's hope for health and happiness for all of them.

5) Theatre. Don't know yet. Nothing is on the books, and I'm going to play (ha ha) things by ear.

6) Love. By this time next year, I'll be married and pregnant (hopefully). We want to start trying again later this spring/early summer. We're timing it so that if this time is successful, I'll have the baby in April/May 2013.

2012 has a lot to live up to. :-)

Cheers and happy new year to everyone. I hope everyone is as happy as I am, and may your next year be even better than this one.

Ciao!

Thanksgiving... and the Thesis (with a capital "T")

Thesis work is trudging along. I've done some more note-taking, done some more reading. I really need to find the 1624 Parliamentary proceedings, and 1621's proceedings would be nice to see as well. That means I'm off to Rice University soon because my school library doesn't have the required database.

Today's work will be limited. I haven't started writing yet, and it might take a few more days of note-organizing, but that's ok. Thanksgiving plans, however, are another reason for extension. Luckily I'm not making the turkey or the dressing, so that time's not used. I am only making the cranberry relish (my specialty) - and I've just finished it. My house smells so yummy - cranberry and orange goodness. I zested three oranges first, and combine the citrus with the popping cranberries... YUM!

I've noticed that many people on facebook are listing what they're thankful for, so in the spirit of Thanksgiving, here's what I'm thankful for (in no particular order... except the first couple).

1) I'm thankful for my boyfriend. I cannot say enough good things about him. He is a wonderful man and we work very well together. He truly is my partner, my match.

2) I'm thankful for my family - my new baby nephew, my sister, her husband, and my mother.

3) I'm thankful for my job. Not only am I thankful that I HAVE a job, but I truly like where I work. Yes, things are crazy with a new principal and a new state test, but we're working through the kinks of newness.

4) I'm thankful for my dog. Seriously, she is the best. She's not always the best-behaved, but she's loyal and is very attached to me. Sometimes to Billy's chagrin. :-)

5) I'm thankful for my friends. I'm very much an introvert and I'm not the most social person, but my friends are truly great. I've spent the past few years weeding out toxic people, so those who remain are ones I can depend on. I love my work family, my theatre family, and the miscellaneous friends.

6) I'm thankful for my health. I'm heavy, but pretty healthy. No broken bones or serious damage this year. The miscarriage sucked, but it was the most common kind of miscarriage, and we'll probably have a healthy pregnancy when we start trying again in the spring.

7) I"m thankful for EF Tours. Seriously - because of them I was able to score two free trips to Europe this past year. I have re-awakened the travel monster that I am and had great experiences to share with my students and my family/friends. Without them, I wouldn't have gone to Paris twice this year, or London for the first time in 15 years, and Rome for the first time ever.

I have more things that I'm thankful for, but I have to get busy on Thesis Day #3.

Ciao bellas!

Thesis Day 1: Coming Clean

For months I've heard the same question over and over: "When are you done with grad school." My normal response has been, "Well, I've already finished my classes and will be graduating with a 4.0 GPA, but I have to finish my thesis. It's due in April." That comment is usually followed by the question: "How far along are you on your thesis." And my reply is, "I've done an outline, but hope to write 30 pages/a chapter during Thanksgiving and 50-60 pages/2 chapters during Christmas."

Notice how above, I said "I have to finish my thesis" not "I have to write a thesis." I should probably say the latter. It's time to come clean.

Here's what I've done: I've written a 4 page prospectus/brief outline and a 15-page paper on the same topic. I wrote the 15-page paper last Spring and I'm planning on expanding it for the thesis. I also have 90% of the research done (using sources from several previous papers about a similar topic). But have I written one word of the actual, 100 page paper/book? No. That's what I'm working on this week.

I'm not a slacker - I've been busy with work and working on my relationship/moving in with Billy. I don't know how I survived the past two years in grad school - how did I have time to do it all??

But Thanksgiving holiday is upon me and I'm ready to be productive. I've brought no grading home with me, Billy is camping with a friend for a few days. I've just done laundry and cleaned the kitchen so all is ready.

So, now begins Thesis Day 1. All of my sources are sitting on my coffee table and I've divided it into chapters. I've found my transcripted notes from a book of letters, and today I'm going to go back over the letters since I haven't read them in months. My thesis takes a slightly different direction from the original paper, so I need to make sure I have everything I need from those letters.

When I need to procrastinate, I'll update the blog. I finally have a new blog focus!

Ciao!

1 month, 7 months, 7 years

I like to reflect; I make no qualms about it. In fact, despite being an emotional person, my ability to reflect makes me tend to be more logical. Or maybe I've just gotten better at stifling my emotions and keeping a straight face.

By the way, I apologize for any typos that might occur. This is my first blog post via iPad and my nails don't press the letters on this touch pad.

Anyway, I digress. Time for more reflection.

1 month- the time I've been living with my boyfriend. As I've mentioned before, haven't cohabited with a boyfriend in 8 years. So far, this time seems to be going well. We're still learning each other's quirks (like the fact that he leaves golf tees and golf balls everywhere and the fact that I tend to accumulate a nice shoe collection under the coffee table during the week). I'm enjoying doing our laundry and he takes out the trash. We're both taking a theatre break so that we can nest- it's like a honeymoon stage, without being married. But I find myself smiling more, calming down more, and wanting to be home more. I'm slowly dropping my extracurricular activities because I don't need them anymore. I am happy; I don't need to fill my time to the brim so that I don't realize how unhappy I truly am.

7 months- the time Billy and I have been dating (well, it'll be 7 months in a couple of weeks. Yep, I can look at this from a mature woman's view: he is my partner. We will grow old together. Neither of us has been this happy, and it's a refreshing combination of respect, humor, passion, companionship, and shared wishes. I have never thought about breaking up with him, am not waiting for someone else better, nor telling myself that things will get better. Things are pretty great.

7 years- the time that has passed since I was a Starbucks manager. Billy's sister is friends with an old shift supervisor of mine; one who was there during the lowest point of my life (when an evil district manager tried to fuel my anxiety and drive me crazy). He's at the Starbucks near my house, so I'll probably run into him. I'm sure we'll catch up, and I can talk about how much my life has improved in the last 7 years. I'm at a job I love and am well-liked and respected there; I've traveled across the country and the world; I don't get calls at 6am or 11pm about running out of espresso or someone not being able to come to work; I've handled a First Folio; directed 3 Shakespeare plays and acted in numerous others; I have the option of not working during the summer; I don't have to be nice to people who are incredibly rude to me; I don't have to wear khakis all the time; I've increased my technology collection, am almost done with my master's thesis, and I smile all the time now. I don't feel anxiety-riddled upon walking into work or seeing my boss.

Am I perfect? No. I still stress out, gained some weight in the past three years, had a miscarriage, and suffered through some rough relationships. But I'm in a good place, and things keep looking up.

Cheers!

A Life of Domesticity

Whew. "Macbeth" has finished its extremely successful run, I have completely moved in with Billy, and I have a few days of alone time before school starts (Billy's out of town for a Civil War event). We don't have cable set up, and since we have an old tv, we're not getting tv reception at all. I'm strangely relieved; I feel more peaceful here without a tv (although the dvd player works and we watch movies). The condo feels quiet, or perhaps I think that way because I have less to do. No rehearsals, no grad school classes, no set time to be at work yet.

I'm settling into this life of domesticity well. I talked to our school secretary today, and she said to me, "You're always busy." She's from South America and remarked that Americans feel the need to be constantly busy. Funny, but I've only felt the need to be constantly busy within the last few years. It's like I'm almost afraid to sit still, to relax. Billy gives me a hard time about that, too - he wishes I'd slow down. Perhaps it's time to slow down, relinquish myself from obligations, and just enjoy the time I'm not at work. I have to work on my thesis this year, but it's a relaxed schedule (except for the London research trip, but let's face it - that's like a vacation to me).

So for the next 4 or 5 days, I'm going to take advantage of being by myself and nest. I was by myself a lot in the apartment and had no desire to clean out things or organize, but I'm starting a new life now - a life shared with someone else. I need to finish unpacking my boxes, and I can clean the condo and just get comfy. And feel no guilt that I'm not doing anything outside the condo.

Cheers!

Something Wicked This Way Comes

I am an intelligent woman, but sometimes I don't know what I'm thinking.

Case in point: the evilness of this week. Not only is this week moving week, but it's also opening week for "Macbeth." Wowzas!

The move is almost finished. The movers came two days ago and I'm only cleaning out the final remnants of the old place. I have to say, I am embarrassed at the level of disgustingness I discovered once the furniture was moved. I have inches of dust behind bookcases, dirt and crap (not literally) where my couch was, etc. I was horrified to let the movers see it, but I'm sure they've seen worse. Today I tried to clean, but didn't last long. My apartment is really falling apart now. A week ago I discovered a hole in my ceiling; it began as a crack but upgraded to a full-sized hole. My apartment people temporarily fixed with... wait for it... a piece of a cardboard box nailed into the ceiling. I wish I was kidding, but alas I am not. They "permanently" fixed it Tuesday, but I wouldn't trust it. And they didn't even address the other cracks. Today, my A/C broke (again) and they didn't come to fix it while I was there. Sweat poured down my back, my hair, my legs. I worked for two miserable hours before leaving. That made me grumble because I had hoped to completely finish... and didn't. Oh, did I mention that my vacuum died?

But, I'm moved for the most part. I'm half living in boxes, just recently found the remote controls, am not quite sure where my black bra is, and haven't seen certain items in a while. With packing and moving during the day, tutoring in the afternoon (my summer job), and rehearsals/production at night, I'm having a hard time unpacking. I look forward to next week - I have tutoring and bootcamp, but I'm free other than that for three days in a row. I plan on getting a lot done then.

In other news, we opened "Macbeth" yesterday. This show is by far the most challenging show I've ever directed. Many people came up to me last night afterwards commenting on the challenging nature, but saying that they enjoyed the performance. I have the best cast I've ever worked with, and they are so enthusiastic. Directing my boyfriend proved to be an extra challenge. We had our disagreements over characterization and such, but only once did we both get frustrated that we didn't speak for a day. Directing him in the kissing scenes was another challenge. He was so nervous! :-) His leading lady is a terrific woman and she, her husband, Billy, and myself hang out and we all get along. In fact, her husband joked with me yesterday, "You know, it's only fair that we make out now." :-)

So last night's performance went well. We had a slight wardrobe malfunction - making me thankful that I told my guys they cannot wear their kilts traditionally. But the blood, the stage combat, and scene changes went wonderful. I'm very proud of this show and am happy that I can put it on my theatre resume.

Life's good.

Ciao!

Achoo!

I have kicked up some major dust bunnies.

Well, the end of the month has arrived and I am in the process of moving. Almost everything that lives inside of a piece of furniture is packed away and I have downsized quite a bit. I don't think I have fewer belongings than when I moved in here four years ago, but I definitely have fewer belongings than I did a year ago. I have sold 6 crates of books to Half-Priced books, donated four garbage bags full of clothes to a needy family, today I've filled 10 garbage bags with trash, I've gone through all my files and took out stuff I haven't looked at in 4 years, I've cleaned out my desk and thrown away stuff I haven't look at in 4 years. That's really been litmus test - if I haven't used in in the past four years I should get rid of it. As for the dust... wow. I needed to clean my apartment more, especially the corners and crannies. I never knew that much dust could accumulate!

Moving out of this apartment is good for several reasons. Of course, moving in with Billy is exciting and scarey, and prevents me from being too much of a recluse. I think we'll do fine together- we've been living together at my place for the past month (he rarely goes home, but now he has to in order to get ready for my stuff!). But another reason my timing is good is that my apartment is starting to fall apart. A couple of months ago I noticed cracks in my ceiling, cracks in my walls, my bathroom door doesn't shut well, my sliding glass door doesn't shut at all unless it's locked at the same time, and my front door deadbolt had to be removed because it wouldn't unlock, thus trapping me inside my apartment. Plus my balcony is starting to lean and I'm pretty sure some of the wood is rotten. Billy's happy I'm leaving as well - I think he'd worry if I stayed!

Time to pack some more!

Ciao!

Memories: Trash or Treasure?

At the end of this month, I will be doing something that I haven't done in 8 years: I will be living with a boyfriend. I was 25 before, unwise to the world, green, and still trying to figure out who I was. 8 years later, I have a career that I love, independence, and definitely more life experience. I also have an apartment filled with stuff.

When merging one's life with another, some things have to go. When I was 25, my boyfriend didn't have a lot of stuff; neither did I. Now, my boyfriend has some stuff, and I have way too much. And a great deal of it shouts "single woman." So as I pack, I must decide what can go, and what I don't need anymore.

The 2 Starbucks Teddy bears stay. I was a manager and besides, I can give them to my kids. The antique bell can go. My evil ex-stepfather gave it to me. It's pretty, but gathers dust. My Phantom of the Opera music box stays- it's my favorite musical. 4 candles I've never lit can go. I have too many candles. Framed pictures from My European travels stays- although some might move to my classroom. My wicker trays go- Billy doesn't like wicker. My LSU gnome stays. It amuses me. Various presents from ex-boyfriends and ex-friends go. Except the last Harry Potter book. My marathon medals stay, despite the fact I don't run anymore. They remind me of what I can accomplish. All wall-hangings in my bedroom go, but my barbed wire Texas in the hall stays.

Moving is a pain, but it gives one a chance to clean out their lives and go down memory lane. As I delve into this new chapter, I must close previous chapters. Time to build as a couple, not single.

Oh, and my collection of autographed Playbills also stays. :-)

Return to blogging?

I don't blog much anymore, obviously. The main reason is that I choose not to have the internet at my house, and so getting on this blog is rare. But I also started this blog as a way to express myself when I didn't know to whom I wanted to express. I started running and my life revolved around it, and then school, theatre, and life in general became topics.

The past two years, however, I feel as though my writing has suffered. I so rarely get on, that I feel my entries are more updates to my life, seemingly unconnected entries with little effort or interest.

But I hope to start blogging again more. I don't run anymore, and so my topics will be of nothing in particular, nothing thematically linking each to each other. My big surprise alluded in my previous entry was that I was pregnant, and I had hoped to blog throughout my pregnancy. Unfortunately, I lost the baby not long after that entry, and then I could think of nothing to connect future entries. Grad school is almost over (and I will be graduating with a 4.0 as soon as I finish my thesis), life with my boyfriend is fine, and school is over for the summer.

But I am traveling - I will soon be leaving for London, Paris, and Rome... and then I'll be back in London in October for a research trip.

So, what will my future entries about? Nothing in particular, but written in a way that I hope is interesting.

Cheers!

2 months

Wow... how 3 months have gone by.

I've... been to Paris, broke up with a boyfriend, starting dating a new guy (who is absolutely fantastic and lovely), and... something else that I can't say yet.

Grad school's almost over for the semester, and this is a rough time... must get the A, must get the A!

I Love Paris in the Winter...

Passport found... check.
Phrase book... check (and incidentally, if I decide to have a one-night stand in Paris, the phrase book lists everything I would need to say... including "This was a mistake" and "Is there anything I need to know first?" ).
Euros... check.
Book for flight... check.
Cold weather clothes... check (because it's going to be 40 degrees when I go).
New video camera... check.
Digital camera... check.
Guidebook.... check.
Plane/hotel itinerary...check.
Someone to feed my animals and get my newspaper...check.

I'm all ready! Now if only it would hurry up and get here. :)


And incidentally, I've maintained my 4.0 in grad school. One semester of class left, and I stand a great chance of graduating with the highest honors!

Cheers!