I'm good. My brain has taken over and I can see things more clearly and put things in perspective.
What makes me irritated is that I fell for what he was saying - probably because his actions supported his words, which is something I haven't really had. And I saw the baggage he came with - I really did - but I ignored it. Luckily, I can see that the baggaged was/is pretty extensive, and that is what makes me feel better.
So, the lessons learned with this relationship?
1) I do not have to put up with excessive baggage. I can, but I don't have to. I shouldn't have to, especially when that baggage prohibits a future that I really want. And especially if that baggage caused self-esteem issues. Dating someone with self-esteem issues is exhausting!
2) I know how I wanted to be treated. When it was good, it was great and that's how I want future relationships to be like.
3) I do not have to settle. I do not have to put up with flaws. If something bothers me, it bothers me for a reason.
4) I am worth the best.
5) If a relationship gets rocky due to work or something that I've been wanting for years... look at it with a critical eye and to never back down on my dreams. I've had some dreams longer than I've had relationships!
BTW - I've decided to replace tequila with a glass of milk and some chocolate-mint Bailey's. Tasty!
8 weeks until DC! And a trip to NY! And the road trip!
Cheers!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sad
Well, I was wrong about Sam.
I don't want to say more. But the cynic is me says, "Well, dumbass, this is what happens when you allow yourself to give you heart to someone else."
Well, the cynic has moved in, and for now, she's not moving back out.
Sad and devastated party of one - your table is ready and full of tequila.
I'd say cheers, but I'm just not in a good place right now.
And now I'm going to end with the lyrics of a song - some of you may notice a line from my e-mail signature line. This song has helped me in the past.
"It's a Fine, Fine Line Between Love and a Waste of Time"
There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.
There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.
And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...Oh...
There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.
I don't want to say more. But the cynic is me says, "Well, dumbass, this is what happens when you allow yourself to give you heart to someone else."
Well, the cynic has moved in, and for now, she's not moving back out.
Sad and devastated party of one - your table is ready and full of tequila.
I'd say cheers, but I'm just not in a good place right now.
And now I'm going to end with the lyrics of a song - some of you may notice a line from my e-mail signature line. This song has helped me in the past.
"It's a Fine, Fine Line Between Love and a Waste of Time"
There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.
There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.
And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...Oh...
There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
More Happiness
So, last week was a great work week.
Tuesday - I got accepted to the DC program.
Wednesday - I got my annual review and it was fantastic! My APs love me.
Friday - I was told that I'm being recommended to the district GT (gifted and talented) person to teach the pre-AP/GT class - which is an even higher level than regular pre-AP - I get to teach 3 Shakesepeare plays to one class - plus 2 Dickens, Animal Farm, Jane Eyre and To Kill a Mockingbird. This is a class for kids who LOVE to read and are scarey smart.
By the way, thanks Anonymous for the "BZ" - I appreciate it. :) And I hope you're doing well also. I'll look for that blue coffee cup in NY, now that I think I know where to look.
Cheers everyone!
Tuesday - I got accepted to the DC program.
Wednesday - I got my annual review and it was fantastic! My APs love me.
Friday - I was told that I'm being recommended to the district GT (gifted and talented) person to teach the pre-AP/GT class - which is an even higher level than regular pre-AP - I get to teach 3 Shakesepeare plays to one class - plus 2 Dickens, Animal Farm, Jane Eyre and To Kill a Mockingbird. This is a class for kids who LOVE to read and are scarey smart.
By the way, thanks Anonymous for the "BZ" - I appreciate it. :) And I hope you're doing well also. I'll look for that blue coffee cup in NY, now that I think I know where to look.
Cheers everyone!
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Fabulous!
I am so excited! Truth to be told, however, some of the initial excitement has worn off and the adrenaline ceases to pulsate through my veins, but excitement still lingers under the surface.
The cause for such excitement? I have been accepted to the Folger Shakespeare Library's Teach Shakespeare Summer Institute (with a grant from the National Humanity For the Arts).
Here's where I show my true geeky-ness: I am overjoyed that I get to spend July and part of August in Washington, DC at the country's most esteemed Shakespeare research facility. In the mornings, I get to attend lectures by Shakespeare professors and researchers, as well as participate in seminars with the other 10-12 participants (yes, I am one of 10-12 chosen!). In the afternoons, we are to spend our time using the museum/library's vast array of primary documents to assist in creating lesson plans for four plays: Taming of the Shrew, King Lear, Much Ado About Nothing and Richard III. Yes, Richard III. One person in particular can guess how excited I am about studying and researching Richard III makes me. Plus we get to put on a small production from one of the plays.
Woo-hoo! I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. Plus we get to go see a Shakespeare production at an esteemed Shakespeare theatre in DC, get taken to various socials (including a Nationals baseball game... hopefully one of the games against the Astros), and spend time with other Shakespeare geeks.
Ok, my initial excitement is coming back.
PLUS, there are extras to this good news.
1) ROAD TRIP! I've decided to drive to DC instead of flying, in order to get some miles on my new SUV and to see the Atlantic coast. Mom's going to ride up with me on the way there and fly back, and then Sam is going to fly up when I'm almost done and ride back with me. Finally, I get to see Charleston and Savannah and I get to see North Carolina again. And yes, I'm fully aware of the rising price of gas, but I am going to save and starve in order for this to happen. Plus see below:
2) The money. Yes, I'm getting paid for all of my excitement. And paid well.
3) New York! Due to the fact that I'm getting paid well, I will be taking a small weekend trip to NY to see Christine and the new baby (and hopefully take in at least one musical).
4) Washington, DC! It's DC! Land of free museums, the National Archives, running parts of the routes of the MCM, subway.
I am so flippin' excited. Two years ago I applied and was an "alternate," so I didn't get to participate. Last year, the Library didn't receive a grant from the National Endowment of the Humanities. This year, I got in. I'm sure that the fact that I'll be teaching the Shakespearean Studies class at my high school next year is a big perk.
YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The cause for such excitement? I have been accepted to the Folger Shakespeare Library's Teach Shakespeare Summer Institute (with a grant from the National Humanity For the Arts).
Here's where I show my true geeky-ness: I am overjoyed that I get to spend July and part of August in Washington, DC at the country's most esteemed Shakespeare research facility. In the mornings, I get to attend lectures by Shakespeare professors and researchers, as well as participate in seminars with the other 10-12 participants (yes, I am one of 10-12 chosen!). In the afternoons, we are to spend our time using the museum/library's vast array of primary documents to assist in creating lesson plans for four plays: Taming of the Shrew, King Lear, Much Ado About Nothing and Richard III. Yes, Richard III. One person in particular can guess how excited I am about studying and researching Richard III makes me. Plus we get to put on a small production from one of the plays.
Woo-hoo! I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. Plus we get to go see a Shakespeare production at an esteemed Shakespeare theatre in DC, get taken to various socials (including a Nationals baseball game... hopefully one of the games against the Astros), and spend time with other Shakespeare geeks.
Ok, my initial excitement is coming back.
PLUS, there are extras to this good news.
1) ROAD TRIP! I've decided to drive to DC instead of flying, in order to get some miles on my new SUV and to see the Atlantic coast. Mom's going to ride up with me on the way there and fly back, and then Sam is going to fly up when I'm almost done and ride back with me. Finally, I get to see Charleston and Savannah and I get to see North Carolina again. And yes, I'm fully aware of the rising price of gas, but I am going to save and starve in order for this to happen. Plus see below:
2) The money. Yes, I'm getting paid for all of my excitement. And paid well.
3) New York! Due to the fact that I'm getting paid well, I will be taking a small weekend trip to NY to see Christine and the new baby (and hopefully take in at least one musical).
4) Washington, DC! It's DC! Land of free museums, the National Archives, running parts of the routes of the MCM, subway.
I am so flippin' excited. Two years ago I applied and was an "alternate," so I didn't get to participate. Last year, the Library didn't receive a grant from the National Endowment of the Humanities. This year, I got in. I'm sure that the fact that I'll be teaching the Shakespearean Studies class at my high school next year is a big perk.
YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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