Yesterday's post mentioned two specific ex-boyfriends. Last night, I went to my favorite hangout, a coffee bar/wine bar. It's a place that my theatre friends and I go to after rehearsals and shows, and I frequently meet my friend Alex there (when he's not stationed overseas). So last night, Alex and I arranged to meet at 8:30. I walk in at 8:25 and lo and behold, I see Sam the cop. I haven't seen Sam in about year and a half, since the day we broke up. I hadn't talked to him in almost a year (having exchanged text messages upon me receiving a random email from his oldest son) and haven't had the desire to, since he had issues he had to take care of and broke up with me in a very uncool manner. So anyway, I walk into the bar, absolutely not expecting to see him. I take a few steps in, and there he is. He sees me about the same time as I see him and he smiles and gets up. I don't want to hug him, but I do. He asks how I'm doing and I say fine - and that I was thinking of him earlier because I think his friend now works at my school. Yep, he does. That's him. We chatted for less than 3 minutes, him asking me several times how I am. I ask how he is and he says he's doing fine - and then says that he had stuff messed up in his brain when we were dating (which I knew) and he's been taking care of that. Then a girl walks up, and I say, "Nice seeing you," and I walk away to get a beer.
Then I go outside and wait for Alex, and call the BF and thank him for being my BF - I can't imagine my life if I had continued dating Sam. I don't even know why I put up with his issues - maybe I felt pity for him. Anyway, he looked older and more tired. I do hope he's happy. As he left, he left hand-in-hand with another woman. I remembered his best friend telling me that I was the best thing he ever dated because his other girlfriends were crazy and needy and I was classy and they weren't, and that his wife found me about 10 months ago and said that ever since breaking up with me, he's been with a different woman every week and she can't keep up with them. This woman didn't look too crazy, but crazy isn't obvious. Sam has had a rough 20s and 30s, so I hope he does find happiness.
I surprised myself. I was bitter for a brief while, and though I haven't harbored bitterness in over a year, I had absolutely no desire to see him again. I thought that if I ever did see him again, I'd just walk away without saying anything. But I was pleasant. I wasn't necessarily warm, but I was polite, not rude. I didn't tell him about my present life (the BF, the theatre, grad school), and I didn't ask him about his. He at one time was significant, albeit briefly. Now we are basically strangers, and I like that. I'm friends with many of my exes, but I have no desire to be friends with exes who treat me less than I deserve. I wish him a good life, but I don't want to be apart of it.
I don't regret dating him, because I learned from that relationship. I learned that I need to speak up, and that I don't have to take crap just because I can. I also learned to be hesitant to those who declare love quickly, and I learned how to deal with a man who has kids.
Anyway, I'm going to be careful with what I post. I mention Sam, and I see him that night.
Wait - maybe if I mention Joseph Fiennes or Kenneth Branagh I'll see them today. :)
Joseph Feinnes.
Kenneth Branagh.
Maybe.
Cheers!
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