Well, I've been an orphan for two weeks. I think I'm handling it well, but I don't really have a lot of time to grieve. I worry slightly that it'll catch up to me during the summer, but as I'm probably not going to teach summer school, I'm ok with that.
I'm learning so many things about life/death - life insurance, rights of succession, IRS tax codes for decedents, estate taxes, etc. I'm also realizing that I need to organize my life a lot better; if I get into a fatal, fiery car crash then Billy is screwed because I have stuff everywhere and I haven't kept my personal, financial, and legal papers as organized as I should. I know every day is precious and we never know when we pass, but hopefully I'll make it for a couple of more months. I'll organize during the summer. Right now I can barely get the energy and motivation to get off the couch. I haven't really worked out much this month, and I'm honestly not caring that my house isn't that clean. It's a small thing, and I'm learning not to sweat the small things.
I'm so full of emotions right now that I can't afford anything else emotionally trying. I don't want to end feuds between friends, or get into arguments about stuff that doesn't matter. I can barely feel sympathetic for another sick family member. It's that I don't care, but my emotions are so out there that it's hard feeling sympathy when I'm going through hell right now.
In fact, I'm too tired to keep typing. I've been cleaning out Mom's house all day, and I'm tired.
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