Day 1.

When I started this blog, I was a runner.  Well, a jogger, but I finished several marathons and half marathons.

Then, in 2009, I was told I had to stop running marathons, and to stop any impact exercise altogether for at least 6 months.

The downward spiral started.  Over the course of 6 years, I parted ways forever with someone I considered one of my best friends (and God, it was a heart-wrenching experience that, I'm able to see now, needed to happen), then fell into a not-so-fulfiling relationship and stayed there for two years, then got into another relationship, had two miscarriages, my mom died, and grad school (which the PTSD from my thesis experience is just now really gone - seriously, I had HIVES and crazy bad panic attacks whenever I thought of my thesis advisor).  What does that mean?  It means I gained a shit-ton of weight.  Stopped blogging for the most part, suffered from grief so badly I spent way too much time on my couch.

Then, this past January, things clicked.  What I was doing to myself was bullshit.  It's like the logical part of my brain said, "That's enough."

In the past 5 months, I've eaten MUCH healthier foods, started exercising again, and have lost 42 pounds.

And today, I signed up for my first half marathon since 2008.  I fully plan on walking the Disneyworld Star Wars half-marathon next April, thinking I could be back down to my 2008 weight.  However, I need something sooner to set my sites on.  So today, the Houston half-marathon registration opened and I got a spot.

This is totally history repeating itself.  In early 2005, I decided I was going to run the Marine Corps Marathon out of spite - to piss off someone who kept registering for it and bailed at the last minute.  I, who started running, decided that I would finish it before he did.  I did.  But before that, I signed up for the San Diego Rock-n-Roll Marathon just to make sure I could finish one before doing the Marine Corps Marathon.  I did.  I did both.  I did both and he was actually incredibly supportive.

Fast forward to now.  Another full, 5 halves, and tons of smaller races later, and then 7 years of not running.  I am doing it again.  I'm not doing it to spite anyone.  I'm doing the Disney one because I want to prove to those who have only known me recently that I'm not just some fat person.  I'm a fucking determined woman who has done it before and will do it again (albeit walking since the cartilage damage in my ankle is still there).  And I'm doing the Houston to make sure I can before I do Disney.

So, I hope to blog more with this experience.  I'm 80 pounds heavier than I was when I stopped running, but I know I'll continue to lose weight - especially with the training - and by the time I'm doing Disney, I'll have finished walking a half marathon AND be at my goal weight.

So, day 1.  I signed up.

Ciao!