In 4 hours, 2007 will be over. I did write a "Year In Review" article, as I've done for the past couple of years, but I don't think I'm going to post it. Instead, I'll summarize.
2007 was a good year. It did have its downs, but the difference is that these downs actually (for once) made me stronger. I am in a much better place (emotionally, physically and mentally) than I was last year. I have ridded myself of toxic situations, ridded myself of toxic people, ridded myself of almost 25 pounds. I have a new car, new school district, new apartment, new clothes, new outlook on life. I finished a screenplay that I've been working on (off and on) for almost 4 years, and have begun outlining 3 more. I did not get on a plane once this year (which is very odd), but I did get great new furniture. I began running again, and although I'm not at my past speed, I'm getting up in the miles. I ran on the treadmill today and pushed myself to run an 11:19 mile, my fastest mile in over a year. I might push myself on the treadmill twice a week for speed work. Maybe.
I can't remember the best movie I saw this year, because I saw so many good ones (Stardust was one of my favorites, as was Sweeney Todd). I read a ton of new books, but didn't keep a list so I can't tell you my favorite (Harry Potter was good, The Forest was good, 19 Minutes was good).
What will 2008 hold? I have no clue. Here are my hopes (I'm not going to say resolutions, because those are so often broken):
1) Run a marathon (hopefully NY, but if I don't get chosen for NY, I might sign up for San Antonio)
2) Run 25 miles a week (at least)
3) Finish two screenplays, and submit my newly finished one to three specific competitions
4) Lose the last 35 pounds! Finally, lose the last of the 155 pound weight loss journey I began 7 years ago.
5) Find a guy who is funny, honest, wicked smart and mature (this one is a long-shot, I know) :)
6) Dress up more, wear less t-shirts.
7) Enjoy my last half a year as a twenty-something.
Other than that, everything else will just be lagnaippe.
Cheers and happy new year! While many of you will be nursing hangovers tomorrow, I'll be jogging happily - somewhere between 10 and 15 miles.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Brrrrrrrrrr
I did not want to run this morning; I wanted to stay in my warm and comfy bed. I did get up, however, get dressed and went to the BAF run. I was actually hoping Lori wouldn't show up, because if she didn't, I'd've gone right back to bed and run 10 miles solo around the Memorial Park area later. But she showed up.
The temperature was 49 when we began and 50 when we ended. It wasn't as cold as the Uptown Turkey Trot (thank heavens), but I actually kept 2/3 of my layers on during the run (jacket #1 went around my waist within a mile, but jacket #2 and my long-sleeved shirt stayed on). The first 8 miles were great, but the last 2 were tough (we stopped for a bathroom break and just couldn't get started as easily). Still, we finished with an average of 13:30, which will definitely put us ahead of our 13:49/3 hour finishing goal. When I'm alone, I can average 12:45 minute miles now, but I always slow down when I run with Lori. She's not slowing me down because she runs faster alone as well. I guess it's the talking we do. But that just continues with my running mindset: have a fun experience.
Next week is the last official BAF Saturday run. After the half, I'll be on my own. I don't like to run long runs in Clear Lake, so I'll be heading to Memorial Park once a week to get in my long runs. I like the water fountains available, plus the bathrooms/gas stations that I'm accustomed to. And I'll get to (finally) add in some hills on my runs! As for speed work, I'll have to figure out something on my own over here. But that's cool.
Life's good. Social life is seriously picking up. I've even graded half of the poetry projects I brought home. I think I'll grade more tomorrow.
Cheers!
The temperature was 49 when we began and 50 when we ended. It wasn't as cold as the Uptown Turkey Trot (thank heavens), but I actually kept 2/3 of my layers on during the run (jacket #1 went around my waist within a mile, but jacket #2 and my long-sleeved shirt stayed on). The first 8 miles were great, but the last 2 were tough (we stopped for a bathroom break and just couldn't get started as easily). Still, we finished with an average of 13:30, which will definitely put us ahead of our 13:49/3 hour finishing goal. When I'm alone, I can average 12:45 minute miles now, but I always slow down when I run with Lori. She's not slowing me down because she runs faster alone as well. I guess it's the talking we do. But that just continues with my running mindset: have a fun experience.
Next week is the last official BAF Saturday run. After the half, I'll be on my own. I don't like to run long runs in Clear Lake, so I'll be heading to Memorial Park once a week to get in my long runs. I like the water fountains available, plus the bathrooms/gas stations that I'm accustomed to. And I'll get to (finally) add in some hills on my runs! As for speed work, I'll have to figure out something on my own over here. But that's cool.
Life's good. Social life is seriously picking up. I've even graded half of the poetry projects I brought home. I think I'll grade more tomorrow.
Cheers!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
The Big 30
No, I'm not talking about my age... yet. I still have 6 more months of being 29.
No, I hit 30 miles for the first time in a long time!
Saturday: 11
Monday: 5
Tuesday: 6
Today/Thursday: 8
Total: 30!
Today's run was a fluke. I ran 4 early this morning with Lori. Then I sat down, grading, for a while and decided to run another 4 in the afternoon to offset the sitting down.
And BAM! 30 miles.
Will the 30 miles stay? Not for the next two weeks, since I'm supposed to be tapering.
But one of my New Year's Resolution: to run 28 miles a week, barring illnesses and injuries. I bought Marty Jerome's Runner's Calendar/Log for 2008 (which I didn't buy for 2007 because of my injury), and I am ready to fill it out!
Cheers!
No, I hit 30 miles for the first time in a long time!
Saturday: 11
Monday: 5
Tuesday: 6
Today/Thursday: 8
Total: 30!
Today's run was a fluke. I ran 4 early this morning with Lori. Then I sat down, grading, for a while and decided to run another 4 in the afternoon to offset the sitting down.
And BAM! 30 miles.
Will the 30 miles stay? Not for the next two weeks, since I'm supposed to be tapering.
But one of my New Year's Resolution: to run 28 miles a week, barring illnesses and injuries. I bought Marty Jerome's Runner's Calendar/Log for 2008 (which I didn't buy for 2007 because of my injury), and I am ready to fill it out!
Cheers!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas
So, today is Christmas. It's not the Christmas of my youth: no tree brimming with presents underneath, no constant ringing of the doorbell, no turkey, no camcorder recording happy faces, no dog trying to sneak some people food. No, that kind of Christmas died with my father 12 years ago. Nowadays, Christmas is a small event. Tiny, actually. Mom, my sister, her husband and me. I'm single and my sister doesn't have kids, so it may be small for a while. And this year, my sister and her husband couldn't make it today so we will be having our Christmas lunch tomorrow (with our new tradition of gumbo and potato salad). So my mom and did what we've done many Christmases recently: we went to the movies. We saw "P.S. I Love You." Great movie, but not the best Christmas movie for my mom and myself - we were bawling the entire time. Mom told me I'm not to choose the movie next year.
I miss the Christmases of my youth. I miss my father. I miss being in a large, loving family. I love my mom and I cherish the times spent with her, but I get wistful at this time. After leaving my mom's, I went for a 6 mile run at Memorial Park. I didn't get to run the wistfullness out of me, because all around the park were happy, loving couples; kids running around with their moms and dads; older couples holding hands while walking. It made me feel alone. Hopefully one day I'll have the large, fun, exciting Christmas again. But for now, it's movies with Mom and a good run. And really, how can I complain about those things? It's two things I truly enjoy!
Cheers!
I miss the Christmases of my youth. I miss my father. I miss being in a large, loving family. I love my mom and I cherish the times spent with her, but I get wistful at this time. After leaving my mom's, I went for a 6 mile run at Memorial Park. I didn't get to run the wistfullness out of me, because all around the park were happy, loving couples; kids running around with their moms and dads; older couples holding hands while walking. It made me feel alone. Hopefully one day I'll have the large, fun, exciting Christmas again. But for now, it's movies with Mom and a good run. And really, how can I complain about those things? It's two things I truly enjoy!
Cheers!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Almost Christmas!
Merry Almost Christmas!
Saturday's run: 11.5 miles. Not a bad run, overall. I think our average was a 13:30, which will still put us (us being Lori and myself) in under 3 hours. Of course, I'd love a finishing time of 2:55 or below, which would make this a PR, which would be doubly exciting since it's my first half since my knee injury. By the way - my knee overall feels fine. Sometimes when I run while the weather is changing, I feel a slight ping. I was hurting on the 13-miler two weeks ago, but only at the last .25 mile. I'm not worried at all.
Today's run: 5 miles. Lori and I ran where she usually runs, which is a gravel path. I loved it! It's very winding and confusing, and it can get into some woods, so I'm not sure how I'd feel about running it alone, but it was fun. We ran all around Seabrook, ending up at Galveston Bay. I saw 4 deer on the way to the park (actually, the deer were two blocks away from my apartment) and on the run we saw tons of egrets, a huge beautiful blue herring, a nutria rat, an alligator chilling in the water, and no snakes. The no snake part made me feel good.
Tomorrow, I will be able to go back to my tradition of walking/running on Christmas. Since the weather is chilly, I might wait until the afternoon, but I plan on getting 6 in tomorrow, either around Memorial or Rice. And then Thursday will be a 5-mile day, and Saturday a 10-miler (we're tapering now). Getting in 26 miles in one week is a milestone for me - I haven't gotten in that much since before my injury. Woo-hoo!
I've started writing my "Year In Review" entry, and I have to say that it looks pretty darn good.
Cheers!
Saturday's run: 11.5 miles. Not a bad run, overall. I think our average was a 13:30, which will still put us (us being Lori and myself) in under 3 hours. Of course, I'd love a finishing time of 2:55 or below, which would make this a PR, which would be doubly exciting since it's my first half since my knee injury. By the way - my knee overall feels fine. Sometimes when I run while the weather is changing, I feel a slight ping. I was hurting on the 13-miler two weeks ago, but only at the last .25 mile. I'm not worried at all.
Today's run: 5 miles. Lori and I ran where she usually runs, which is a gravel path. I loved it! It's very winding and confusing, and it can get into some woods, so I'm not sure how I'd feel about running it alone, but it was fun. We ran all around Seabrook, ending up at Galveston Bay. I saw 4 deer on the way to the park (actually, the deer were two blocks away from my apartment) and on the run we saw tons of egrets, a huge beautiful blue herring, a nutria rat, an alligator chilling in the water, and no snakes. The no snake part made me feel good.
Tomorrow, I will be able to go back to my tradition of walking/running on Christmas. Since the weather is chilly, I might wait until the afternoon, but I plan on getting 6 in tomorrow, either around Memorial or Rice. And then Thursday will be a 5-mile day, and Saturday a 10-miler (we're tapering now). Getting in 26 miles in one week is a milestone for me - I haven't gotten in that much since before my injury. Woo-hoo!
I've started writing my "Year In Review" entry, and I have to say that it looks pretty darn good.
Cheers!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Danger in My Fridge
One of my students gave me a large box of chocolate truffles for Christmas. The box had 32 in them. Now there are 25 (I had to sample one of each flavor!).
I will now limit myself to one a day for the next 25 days.
I've lost over 20 pounds since moving to Clear Lake. I don't want to put them back on (but I still want the chocolate!).
BTW... 2nd date with the engineer went well. Third date to come after Christmas.
Happy Holidays!
I will now limit myself to one a day for the next 25 days.
I've lost over 20 pounds since moving to Clear Lake. I don't want to put them back on (but I still want the chocolate!).
BTW... 2nd date with the engineer went well. Third date to come after Christmas.
Happy Holidays!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Monday Ramblings
I ran 4.5 miles today, grudgingly. I was tired and the temperature was chilly, so I whined while jogging. But I did it. And tomorrow is another 4.5 miles (which has to get done early in the afternoon so that I have time to shower and get prettier for date #2 with the engineer).
After the Houston race, I'm going to incorporate speed work in my weekly runs to get me back to where I was over a year ago. If things work out with the engineer, I'm going to have him coach me - he ran track and field at West Point, and was uber-fast - fast enough to win lots of Houston 10ks and 5ks in the 1990s, and even today finishes full marathons in less than 4 hours. He did the Uptown Turkey Trot 5k in 21 minutes.
I want to finish the Marine Corps half in 2.5 hours, which will cut 20 minutes off of my best half-marathon time. I know I can do it, because I got to the halfway point of the Nashville Marathon in 2.5 hours. I just need to work on my speed. And I'll have plenty of time to do it between January and May.
Cheers!
After the Houston race, I'm going to incorporate speed work in my weekly runs to get me back to where I was over a year ago. If things work out with the engineer, I'm going to have him coach me - he ran track and field at West Point, and was uber-fast - fast enough to win lots of Houston 10ks and 5ks in the 1990s, and even today finishes full marathons in less than 4 hours. He did the Uptown Turkey Trot 5k in 21 minutes.
I want to finish the Marine Corps half in 2.5 hours, which will cut 20 minutes off of my best half-marathon time. I know I can do it, because I got to the halfway point of the Nashville Marathon in 2.5 hours. I just need to work on my speed. And I'll have plenty of time to do it between January and May.
Cheers!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
No Change
I'm not changing my blog. I like it just the way it is.
1) Running. I did go Saturday morning, but Lori and I stopped at 5 and turned back, instead of turning back at 6. We figured 10 miles was just as good as 12, especially since the storm clouds were getting thicker by the mile. We lucked out, because the rain came down as I was walking to my car after stretching.
2) My date Saturday afternoon went really well. We talked on the phone today and the second date will be Tuesday.
3) Only 4.5 school days left until the holiday break! Wa-hoo!
Cheers!
1) Running. I did go Saturday morning, but Lori and I stopped at 5 and turned back, instead of turning back at 6. We figured 10 miles was just as good as 12, especially since the storm clouds were getting thicker by the mile. We lucked out, because the rain came down as I was walking to my car after stretching.
2) My date Saturday afternoon went really well. We talked on the phone today and the second date will be Tuesday.
3) Only 4.5 school days left until the holiday break! Wa-hoo!
Cheers!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Musings...
So, I'm in the process of completely cutting the Bastard finally out of my life (think deleting and trashing). But herein lies a few problems... First of all, I have something of his. It's not an expensive thing (it's a book), but it's still his (although it's been in my posession for two years now). He hasn't asked for it back (hell, he hasn't even attempted to contact me in two months). So, should I be the better person and mail it back to him or should I completely destroy it and feel good about destroying it (which is very passive-aggressive, I know)? On the other hand, he has a book of mine and I'm giving it up and buying a new copy since he's ignoring my presence.
Secondly, this blog. Since we didn't have a fight, I know he doesn't hate me. I have a strong feeling he reads this blog to check up on me (as he usually does) and I don't think he deserves to know anything about me anymore. He has no right to know about my running, he has no right to know about my work, he has no right to know about my relationships, he has no right to know anything new about me anymore. Which means I'm toying with the idea of completely getting rid of this blog (which kind of upsets me, since I've had it for years). I do have a blog on myspace, but I don't use it often and I kind of like the annonymity of this one (since not all of my readers know who I am). I might just get a new blogger blog and only tell a certain few of the new address. But it sucks because I've had this one for years! Argh. Stupid men.
So, if I got a new blog address, e-mail me if you're interested in the new address.
And on a non-Bastard note... it's supposed to be freezing this weekend! I might not run with my group, since it'll be in the upper 30s when we run. I might just wait until noon and run around Hermann or Memorial. I have to do 12 miles, which is 4 loops around Rice or 4 loops around Memorial. And it won't be as cold at noon.
And, I got my confirmation e-mail for the first innaugural Marine Corps Half Marathon! I'm exited.
AND I have a date this weekend with a really great guy.
I'm going to go jog now. Cheers!
Secondly, this blog. Since we didn't have a fight, I know he doesn't hate me. I have a strong feeling he reads this blog to check up on me (as he usually does) and I don't think he deserves to know anything about me anymore. He has no right to know about my running, he has no right to know about my work, he has no right to know about my relationships, he has no right to know anything new about me anymore. Which means I'm toying with the idea of completely getting rid of this blog (which kind of upsets me, since I've had it for years). I do have a blog on myspace, but I don't use it often and I kind of like the annonymity of this one (since not all of my readers know who I am). I might just get a new blogger blog and only tell a certain few of the new address. But it sucks because I've had this one for years! Argh. Stupid men.
So, if I got a new blog address, e-mail me if you're interested in the new address.
And on a non-Bastard note... it's supposed to be freezing this weekend! I might not run with my group, since it'll be in the upper 30s when we run. I might just wait until noon and run around Hermann or Memorial. I have to do 12 miles, which is 4 loops around Rice or 4 loops around Memorial. And it won't be as cold at noon.
And, I got my confirmation e-mail for the first innaugural Marine Corps Half Marathon! I'm exited.
AND I have a date this weekend with a really great guy.
I'm going to go jog now. Cheers!
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Ahh... Sunday
I love Sundays. Sundays mean reading the Sunday newspaper while eating an omlette, going to the gym in the morning, going to the movies, having time for "me."
Today was no exception. I read the Sunday paper, went to the gym (after yesterday's 12 miler, I soaked in a tub so I felt NO soreness or stiffness whatsoever), went to the movies (saw August Rush, which was quite good), did a bit of grading, drove around in my new car, played copious amounts of online Scrabble.
I just discovered a couple of cool things about my new auto. First of all, I can save songs on Sirius, and the next time that they are played on any of the satellite stations, a reminder comes on to tell me what station it's on! And I found a little menu that enables me to display song and singer while it's playing, and I discovered that the drink holders in my console are removable, thus allowing bigger cups to sit in there.
Lo-jack was installed on my SUV yesterday, so I'm all good to go! If someone steals my car - watch out! Lo-jack will be after you (and so will an angry high school English teacher)!
Cheers!
Today was no exception. I read the Sunday paper, went to the gym (after yesterday's 12 miler, I soaked in a tub so I felt NO soreness or stiffness whatsoever), went to the movies (saw August Rush, which was quite good), did a bit of grading, drove around in my new car, played copious amounts of online Scrabble.
I just discovered a couple of cool things about my new auto. First of all, I can save songs on Sirius, and the next time that they are played on any of the satellite stations, a reminder comes on to tell me what station it's on! And I found a little menu that enables me to display song and singer while it's playing, and I discovered that the drink holders in my console are removable, thus allowing bigger cups to sit in there.
Lo-jack was installed on my SUV yesterday, so I'm all good to go! If someone steals my car - watch out! Lo-jack will be after you (and so will an angry high school English teacher)!
Cheers!
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Funny
I was shopping online for new pouches and food for my sugar gliders, and I found harnesses/leashes for sugar gliders.
There was a picture.
It amused me.
I might have to buy two.
There was a picture.
It amused me.
I might have to buy two.
Tough Times
Today's BAF long run for the halves was 11-12 miles. I think they gave us this option since last week's 11 mile run was cancelled due to inclement weather. Despite not running a long run last weekend, and each of us only putting in 3 miles this week, Lori and I decided to go for the 12. Next week's run is to be 11, so we decided to push ourselves this week.
The first half (6 miles) was fine - we averaged a 12:50 pace. The last 6 miles, however, sucked. There were some miles in there that were well over 14 minutes. She and I trudged on, feeling the pain, but determined to do all 12 miles. Both of us WILL be running more this week, so we're hoping next week's long run won't be as bad. Both of us hurt (her feet, my calves) by the end and I was thankful to be finished. I kept getting Charlie Horses in my left calf, which hasn't happened before. I already eat one banana a day, but I'm going to look up other high-potassium foods to keep them from happening again. The knee felt a tad sore at the end, but it's been acting up due to the constant weather changes (and the fact that I slammed it into a chair last night), but it was only slight twinges.
I've been in a funky rut again for about 2 weeks. I don't really know why. I haven't wanted to eat healthy, I haven't worked out near as much as I usually do, I just feel blah. But after running today, I feel so much better (and the fact that I have fun new SUV makes me happy, too).
One reason that I'm bothered, I know, is the fact that someone I considered one of my best friends has completely dropped me without any reason. Perhaps keeping him as a friend was stupid on my part because he's hurt me in the past (including smashing my heart 3 years ago), but I have so many things in common with him (more than anyone else) that I just look at the good and tend to ignore the bad. He was my Shakespeare buddy, my Scrabble buddy, my running supporter, my Harry Potter buddy, my Samuel L. Jackson-is-the-killer buddy (inside joke), and he's also an English teacher so we talked about our teaching experiences (and past Starbucks experiences) a lot.
We've known each other for 7 years and have definitely had our ups-and-downs (including once not speaking for 5 months), but 5 weeks ago, we spoke on the phone for the last time. There was no fight. We had mentioned seeing a movie together and I had strongly suggested he come to Houston, since I had driven to visit him the last two times. The phone conversation was 4 days before that was supposed to happen, and since he never mentioned it, I decided not to either (call me childish, but I wanted HIM to remember). The phone conversation didn't even end on a bad note.
That was the last time we spoke. I, on purpose, waited for him to call me. After two weeks, I left him an IM saying that I'm irritated with him, but also concerned because I haven't heard from him in two weeks (we used to talk daily, then a couple of times a week). No response. I knew he was alive because he was online. But he didn't respond. Almost two weeks later, after the death-threat incident, I sent him a text message telling him of it. He responded with "Are you ok?" And when I tried to call him to tell him the story, his voice mail picked up and I left him a message, telling of the story. No return call. I e-mailed him the story. No reply. I tried calling him again the following week. No return call. I saw him online Sunday and said hi, and he said that he was in Orlando and about to return to Louisiana and he had to go.
I tried calling him again Wednesday. At this point, I just want to know why he hasn't been returning my calls. We used to talk daily. The fact that he's ignoring me without reason is completely baffling. But at the same time, I'm done. I'm starting to feel like a communication stalker. He has treated me without feeling twice before. This is now the third time, and now I realize that it's my fault that I ever trusted him after any of those other situations. And maybe that's why I'm in this rut. Because I've lost one of my closest friends and I don't know why. I've lost the person that I told everything to. I've lost the person who I could rant to, in which afterwards he'd cheer me up. I've lost the person who I could have the most intellectual conversations with. And I don't even know why I lost him. Maybe he has a new girlfriend and can't tell me or her about me. I don't know.
But on the flip side, he's lost me now. I'm done.
Everyone is replaceable. Even close friends.
The first half (6 miles) was fine - we averaged a 12:50 pace. The last 6 miles, however, sucked. There were some miles in there that were well over 14 minutes. She and I trudged on, feeling the pain, but determined to do all 12 miles. Both of us WILL be running more this week, so we're hoping next week's long run won't be as bad. Both of us hurt (her feet, my calves) by the end and I was thankful to be finished. I kept getting Charlie Horses in my left calf, which hasn't happened before. I already eat one banana a day, but I'm going to look up other high-potassium foods to keep them from happening again. The knee felt a tad sore at the end, but it's been acting up due to the constant weather changes (and the fact that I slammed it into a chair last night), but it was only slight twinges.
I've been in a funky rut again for about 2 weeks. I don't really know why. I haven't wanted to eat healthy, I haven't worked out near as much as I usually do, I just feel blah. But after running today, I feel so much better (and the fact that I have fun new SUV makes me happy, too).
One reason that I'm bothered, I know, is the fact that someone I considered one of my best friends has completely dropped me without any reason. Perhaps keeping him as a friend was stupid on my part because he's hurt me in the past (including smashing my heart 3 years ago), but I have so many things in common with him (more than anyone else) that I just look at the good and tend to ignore the bad. He was my Shakespeare buddy, my Scrabble buddy, my running supporter, my Harry Potter buddy, my Samuel L. Jackson-is-the-killer buddy (inside joke), and he's also an English teacher so we talked about our teaching experiences (and past Starbucks experiences) a lot.
We've known each other for 7 years and have definitely had our ups-and-downs (including once not speaking for 5 months), but 5 weeks ago, we spoke on the phone for the last time. There was no fight. We had mentioned seeing a movie together and I had strongly suggested he come to Houston, since I had driven to visit him the last two times. The phone conversation was 4 days before that was supposed to happen, and since he never mentioned it, I decided not to either (call me childish, but I wanted HIM to remember). The phone conversation didn't even end on a bad note.
That was the last time we spoke. I, on purpose, waited for him to call me. After two weeks, I left him an IM saying that I'm irritated with him, but also concerned because I haven't heard from him in two weeks (we used to talk daily, then a couple of times a week). No response. I knew he was alive because he was online. But he didn't respond. Almost two weeks later, after the death-threat incident, I sent him a text message telling him of it. He responded with "Are you ok?" And when I tried to call him to tell him the story, his voice mail picked up and I left him a message, telling of the story. No return call. I e-mailed him the story. No reply. I tried calling him again the following week. No return call. I saw him online Sunday and said hi, and he said that he was in Orlando and about to return to Louisiana and he had to go.
I tried calling him again Wednesday. At this point, I just want to know why he hasn't been returning my calls. We used to talk daily. The fact that he's ignoring me without reason is completely baffling. But at the same time, I'm done. I'm starting to feel like a communication stalker. He has treated me without feeling twice before. This is now the third time, and now I realize that it's my fault that I ever trusted him after any of those other situations. And maybe that's why I'm in this rut. Because I've lost one of my closest friends and I don't know why. I've lost the person that I told everything to. I've lost the person who I could rant to, in which afterwards he'd cheer me up. I've lost the person who I could have the most intellectual conversations with. And I don't even know why I lost him. Maybe he has a new girlfriend and can't tell me or her about me. I don't know.
But on the flip side, he's lost me now. I'm done.
Everyone is replaceable. Even close friends.
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