So, I've spent a good portion of 2005 being depressed because I thought my life sucked (to quote one of my favorite musicals, Avenue Q, "It sucks to be me.") I focused so much on the bad things (my weight, stress over my poor time management, the stress of a job switch, being in too many short-lived relationships with people I shouldn't've gotten involved with), but the other day I looked at my year as a whole and came up with an epiphany. My year was pretty damn good. On December 31st, I decided to dub 2005 "The Year of Erica," mainly because 2004 sucked big-time. I decided that I was not going to sabotage my happiness, like I usually do, and focus on more positive things. And here's what I realized about this year...
1) One of my New Years' Resolution was to run a 5k. I've run 2 5ks, 1 10k and 2 marathons. That's pretty damn good!
2) I wasn't going to date any losers. Well, I fell short on that one, but on the positive side I've had more dates this year and relationships (short-lived or otherwise) than I've had period. Which is great for my ego! I'm not the troll I thought I was.
3) My weight. Sigh. This has been a very depressing issue (a continuous battle since high school). But then I realized that, despite gaining 10 pounds this year, I've done all that running/jogging and had all those relationships and dates. I decided that my weight wasn't going to stop me from doing one marathon (and I've done 2!) or dating. So I'm coming to realize that my weight doesn't play as big of a part as I thought it did. (I know, it's the inside that counts, but I've dealt with eating disorders for the past 14 years and this is a big realization for me).
4) Job. I hated my job at the beginning of the year. And though the switch to teaching has been busy and time-consuming, I still love it! And I am actually proud of what I do. I am not embarrassed to tell anyone that I'm a teacher.
5) Writing. I haven't finished my latest screenplay. But I've been busy. And I'll finish. I'm ok with not finishing yet... sometimes the best things take a while to do.
6) While I didn't go to London, as I had hopes of, I've traveled more this year than I ever have in one year - I went to California (a first), New York City (a first) and Washington DC (a trip I've made before and always love).
So, all in all, I've had a great year! And this makes me feel stupid for spending the majority of my year feeling depressed and sad.
I wonder what 2006 will bring me...
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