"He likes to dance a lot, you know you do!" "I do?"
I have officially moved away from "Avenue Q" and am now listening to the cast recording to "Spamalot," which is wonderful (and Tim Curry and David Hyde Pierce were wonderful on Broadway in it).
Christmas is almost over. "Hallelujah!" Last year I publicly boycotted the holidays, and was ok with my lack of Christmas activities. This year, I didn't boycott the holidays but for a second year they were uneventful. My sister went out of town, leaving just my mom and I. So we went to brunch (where we made fun of other people's outfits) and went to the movies. Here's why I ended up in a bad mood... (and it was a doozy)...
1) I saw lots of happy families. My family is too tiny for this. My father is also dead, which makes me miss the holidays in which he was alive - they were more fun. Seeing the little girls with their fathers was heartwrenching. This year it was just my mom and myself... again.
2) I saw lots of couples. I'm happy with my single state, mostly, but it sucks to be alone during the holidays. I used to be ok with my single-ness during the holidays, but as I get older, I'm realizing it really does suck. I'm also tired of my cousins making references on how "it will be my turn soon" or "who are you dating now?" or "don't worry, you'll find someone." I am officially the youngest unmarried cousin. They all (including my sister) were married before they were 26. I am 27 with very little hope in the near future. I wouldn't be surprised if they secretly believe me to be a lesbian. I've only brought one boyfriend to meet them during the holidays (and only one year), and I don't know if they believe that I do date men. I told them I have two dates this week but they probably think I'm lying.
3) The movie was depressing. We saw, "The Family Stone." Warning, if you want to see this movie, I am going to give it away. Samuel L. Jackson is the killer. Just kidding. But this movie does have a serious turn at the end that had me in tears and depressed the hell out of my mother and me. It's not all funny and cute.
4) Lack of Christmas feeling. We didn't decorate, due to the massive rennovation of the house. Our tree remained in the garage, the snoring Santas in the closet and the lights in the attic. Nothing about our dwelling said, "Merry Christmas!"
5) My family. It's getting harder and harder each year to attend family functions. At one point, I leaned over to my mom and said, "I feel like the bastard step-child." She and I were out of the family loop (probably because neither one of us are married nor do we have little kids). Plus, it's difficult to have a serious conversation with some of them - we rarely see each other, therefore not really know each other and appear to live in two different parts of the world although we all live in Houston.
On the plus side, brunch was tasty, I got tipsy from the bottomless mimosas (those waiter were quick with the refills), and I beat my mom at a game of Scrabble (don't play Scrabble with an English teacher). Hmm. The mimosas could be another reason for my melancholy.
Bah humbug.
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