Last Wishes

Today's run: 2.9 miles. It was bad. I felt like I gained 50 pounds overnight. My legs didn't want to move at all. After mile 1, I knew it was going to be rough.

I went to my mom's cousin's funeral today. I hate funerals (as I might have mentioned). I've been to more funerals than most 27-year olds I know. I have only one parent left, one grandparent left (and he was given 3-6 months left), and have been to funerals for cousins and friends. I've been to two funerals on May 5 (3 years apart), I've known two people who have died on May 1 (5 years apart), two friends died in a helicopter crash on my 21st birthday (so that was two funerals in one week). In between my 15th birthday and 4 days after my 21st birthday, I'd been to 14 funerals, and there were several I didn't go to (due to me living in Louisiana at the time). I refuse to look at the body in the casket, I am the last to arrive and the first to leave at cemetaries, and I fidget while in the pews. They remind me too much of my father's funeral, which is a memory that is best remained deep in my brain.

At today's funeral, I saw many relatives I haven't seen in a long time. In fact, several times the words, "I haven't seen you since _____'s funeral" were said. How depressing.

Here are my final wishes (my family knows, but just in case we're all killed in a freak accident). I do not want to live on life support - pull the plug. I want to be cremated with my urn/box of ashes buried next to my parents. I do not want a funeral service. Come to the gravesite, say some poems (maybe parts of "The 4 Quartets) or some Shakespeare (no psalms, no prayers) and then go have a party somewhere. Spend the funeral service money on booze and food and have a good time. No "Amazing Grace", no bagpipes, nothing musically depressing. Celebrate my life, celebrate the fact I'm gone and won't bug anyone anymore, celebrate the free party. Whatever makes you happy. Oh, and plant an antique rosebush behind my marker.

Now I have to finish my vocabulary list for "Julius Caesar." E tu, Brute?

(Oh, and I was informed by someone that I have 2 1/2 dates this week. Sorry for the misunderstanding.) :)